015.

I guess I don't know what to call this. Maybe a self-realization? It's been passing in and out of my mind the past couple weeks. I've noticed that the most important thing is to live your life for yourself. This might seem like an obvious thing but to be honest I've been living my life 80% for other and 20% for me. At least in the past. But recently, since my last year of undergraduate began, I've been doing things for myself. Maybe not 100%, but definitely more than 20%.

My parents got married when they were 21. I'm 22 and still working on graduating. My mom always says, "Do what you want. Don't tie yourself down to others." I have to tell myself to live for myself right now. I see myself with other people and how I act and how I treat them. And I feel like I'm not treating others my best because I'm not happy with my own life.

I could never imagine being married right now... or even when I'm 30 to be honest. I don't know if this is selfish. But I feel like I need to work my absolute hardest in getting to where I want to be. Because I know when I get to the point of success, I'll be happy. And when you are completely happy with yourself, then you are just happy around everyone and you treat everyone the way they should be treated. So I want to be successful. I want to be happy. And then I want to make those who I already know happy. And then I want to meet new people and make them happy. And I want to get married... or not even married really, I'd just be happy with being someone for a long time, and I'd want them to be happy too. You know, just content. And ready to do things. See the world. Go places. Do things. Happily. Just doing what you love. I don't even need to makes loads of money. It's not about that. It's about doing things you love, and being able to pay your bills with that. I don't need to be rich, I just need to know that I'm guaranteed to support myself the right way.

I need to find more people who will actually read this. Haha... I just hope SOMEONE is listening :) It'd be cool to have someone to relate to. Also, I've had A LOT of wine today. So this is most likely drunk blabble. But who doesn't do that? No one. Good night. Sorry if there are grammatical errors or spelling errors. I would slap my own wrist if I was coherent.

Good night.